Seeking the Face of the Lord

Lent: An opportunity to examine the balance of material, spiritual values in our lives

The season of Lent might provide an extra incentive to carve out time for a little extra prayer and reflection. For this third week of Lent, I want to encourage us to reflect on family life and family values from a specific point of view.

One time someone said to me, “Archbishop, you are throwing good money after bad money in our schools.” He said if we don’t do something to help parents develop their spiritual and moral values, we are wasting our money on our Catholic school system.

When I pushed for an explanation, I was told that unless our parents are committed Catholics, often what is taught in religion and morality classes and the school’s spiritual formation program gets undone at home.

I think there is probably some truth in that. I think the same concerns certainly apply to our valiant efforts to provide religious and moral education and formation in our parish religious education programs. This person went so far as to say that the commitment of parents to participate in some kind of adult religious education and formation program (like an extended annual retreat) should be made a requirement for their children’s enrollment in our Catholic school system. It is food for thought.

A basic truth is at stake. The first and primary responsibility for the religious education and moral formation of children and youth belongs to parents. The primary responsibility begins and ends at home. This primacy of responsibility cannot be placed on our parish religious education programs, our Catholic schools or the Church at large, for that matter. This might be a timely point for reflection for conscientious parents.

Parish religious education programs and Catholic schools exist to help parents provide extended religious and moral education and formation for their families. Our Church has a clear responsibility to do all we can to provide such help. And parents have a responsibility to do the best they can to engage their children in extended programs of religious education.

I am often edified by the long-range planning parents do for the future education of their children. Generally, this is a fine indicator of parental responsibility.

I am reminded of something my mom, who taught fourth grade, used to talk about. She would tell me of her amazement (and worry) when at parent-teacher conferences parents would inquire about the capacity of their fourth-graders for college entrance.

In some way, such early concern is understandable, but it can also be inordinate and a tremendous pressure on a young child. Mom was concerned about the number of children who had stomach ulcers. On the other hand, she would brood over the fact that rarely did parents raise concerns about the religious education or moral formation of their children.

It is so very easy to fix on the importance of academic excellence in our children’s education and to overlook an equally if not more important part of their overall development, namely their moral and spiritual formation. We must not settle for an “either/or” proposition here. I think of the holistic education we should provide our children as “academic excellence with a Catholic heart.” This excellence applies as much if not more to religion as it does to any other academic discipline.

We must not be shortsighted in planning for our children’s future. To be preoccupied with a college education for future career or profession alone may seem far-sighted but, in fact, it is hopelessly nearsighted if formation in faith is sidelined.

When all is said and done, the only thing that counts when we are called home to God is the integrity of our life and our faith in him.

The foundation of faith and morals is laid in our family homes. What happens in religious education programs in our parishes and schools builds on that foundation. We cooperate in the long-range development of our youth.

If you need help with your own formation as parents, please participate in the life of your local parish community. In addition to the worship and prayer life and sacraments of the Church, we offer retreats and adult education, religious formation and marriage enrichment programs to help you. I don’t know what better investment you could make for your family’s future.

Lent provides us an extra opportunity to examine the balance of material and spiritual values that direct our lives and those of our children. It is no surprise that we need supportive spiritual and moral opportunities in a culture that almost exclusively promotes material values at every turn.

The special grace of this holy season can give us the help we need to change course if it seems called for. Return to the Gospel is the call of Lent. †